You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
