If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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