Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
