fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize