I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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