i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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