Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
