remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
don't judge my taste in strippers
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
