I'm so fucking centered right now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
