when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
