u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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