so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
its liver damage thursday
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
