All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
