Whats the glycemic index on semen?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
