Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
