I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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