You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
