there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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