She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
