he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
