Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
