New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
