Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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