mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
they need to just BURY HIM!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
