Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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