i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
