I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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