Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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