umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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