i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
