Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
is that a dick in a sweater?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
