whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
