forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
