I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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