Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
