If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I forgot how hot balto sounded
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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