what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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