and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
