My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Randomize
