i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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