Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
