these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
