i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
