True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
