are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
