This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize