i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
