dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
