i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
