hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
