took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
