I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
