Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
