I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
birth control should be required to get into college
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
