For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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