he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
