a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
