the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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