just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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