i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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