I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
