The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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